Running From the Cops
by nekoluver
Summary: The military tries to arrest Ed for having a blade in school. So, naturally.. He runs! complete random highschool madness! EdXWinry RoyXRiza
1. Ed VS Basketball

**This is yet another story by Nekoluver and FMAFreak. Be afraid! . Yeah, we got into a discussion while in gym class about why Ed and Winry don't go to school and thus, this story was born! We decided that Ed doesn't go to school because he's a genius and Winry has to work. Don't know about Al though...Or Russel and Fletcher who really don't matter, since they're not in this story. As always, I apologize for any OCCness. Like Riza being all mysterious and appearing at just the right moment for no apparent reason. **

**Pairings: EdXWinry(as always), RoyXRiza **

**Disclaimer: Neither of us own Fullmetal Alchemist. (BUT I OWN AN EDO-KUN PLUSHIE!)**

**Rated T because of everyone's potty mouths and Ed being a dirty, dirty boy. XD **

**Who was in charge of who...**

**FMAFreak:**

**Edward Elric**

**Police(occasionally)**

**Preps**

**Jean Havoc**

**Nekoluver: **

**Winry Rockbell**

**Girl Cop**

**Roy Mustang**

**Police(most of the time)**

**Riza Hawkeye**

**Uno **

**Deuce**

**Moogle**

**Random Moogle**

**King Bradly **

**Alex Louis Armstrong**

**Okay, this starts out with Ed and Winry in gym class. For those of you who care to know, they are wearing gym shorts and tank tops. I'll show you a picture if you want, though it's Riku and Risa Harada in the pic... **

**Warning: Contains drugs, moogles, Roy, wrenchblades, & swimming. **

**Wrenchblades- A keyblade made from a wrench instead of a key. **

- - -

A basket-ball hit Ed's skull with a thud, causing him to get pissed.

"Damn ball!" Ed shouted. He then transformed his automail arm into a blade. "I'll kill you!"

"Ed, you shouldn't do that in school," Winry advised.

Ed replied by punching the ball, and slicing it in half. The police immediately stormed into the gym.

"Told you," Winry said.

"Uh oh...Um...Hi Mr. Cops!" Ed said uncertainly.

"_Excuse_ me!" a girl cop said, offended.

"...Like I said, Hi Mr. Cops!" Ed replied.

Roy, who was with the cops, scolded Ed. "Be nice to the ladies Fullmetal, or you'll never get laid."

"I DON'T WANT TO GET LAID!!!" Ed screamed at perverted Mr. Flamey. XP "_Unless it's by Winry,_" He thought to himself.

All of the police sweat-dropped. "Um..So yeah..." one police officer said. "Put down your weapon!"

"I can't!" Ed yelled, frustrated by the police's stupidity, Roy's perverted-ness, and Winry turning into Miss Know-It-All.

"I said put it down!" another police officer demanded.

Roy smirked at Ed. "Yes, put it down Fullmetal."

"I can't!" Ed insisted. "What do you want me to do?! Take off my arm!" He then reached to turn his arm back to normal.

"Don't move!" the police shouted, starting to get kinda nervous.

Riza walked into the gym and moved to stand beside Roy. "What's going on?" she asked.

"Oh nothing," Roy replied calmly. "Fullmetal's just in trouble with the police."

"...You're torturing him again aren't you?" Riza asked.

"Yup," Roy replied with a smile.

Riza sighed at the colonel's immaturity. "You better hope he doesn't kill you for this," she said before walking back out of the gym.

"But I'm changing it back!" Ed shouted to the police and then looked over his shoulder and Winry. "Winry! Tell 'em!"

"You got yourself into this mess," she replied, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall to watch the show.

"GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME!" Ed screamed. He reached to change his arm back again.

The police all pointed their guns at Ed. "Don't move!"

Roy turned to the police. "Should we arrest him?"

"No!" Ed shouted. "Roy I hate you! I'll gut you like a fish!"

"Roy, how long are you going to torture him?" Havoc asked.

"Until someone stops me," Roy replied with a shrug.

"So...Are we going to stop you?" one of the police officers asked Roy.

"No, let him have his fun," Havoc told them.

"How dare you all!" Ed shouted and reached to change his arm back...again.

Riza suddenly walked in and shot the floor right by Ed's foot. "The said don't move."

Ed stared at her with a stunned look on his face. "'Kay..."

Roy walked over and put handcuffs on Ed, smirking the whole time. "You have the right to remain silent," he began, trying not to burst out laughing.

"I DO NOT!" Ed shouted in his face. "NOW GET THESE OFF!" He finally decided no one was going to help him, so he used alchemy to break the handcuffs and change his arm back. He ran out of the gym.

"Hey get back here!" the police shout and chase after Ed.

"_Oh great, now he really is going to be arrested,_" Winry thought to herself, standing up straight and following Ed.

Roy snapped his fingers so that fire flew at Ed, but the small blonde dodged, so Roy kinda gave up.

Ed was now out of the school and still running. "Your fault!" he shouted over his shoulder.

A small group off kids all wearing black except one, who was wearing pink, and one, who was wearing normal-looking clothes, all stood together outside watching. "Oh, he is so going to jail," the tallest one in black with curly hair said.

"Yup," a slightly shorter one with really long, curly hair agreed. Everyone else just nodded their heads.

A group of preps stood not far away, also watching. "Oh my god! He needs to be, like, my next boyfriend!" they all said at once and then erupted into a fit of squealing and giggles.

The other group looked at them with disgusted looks on their faces.

Winry, who was now outside, threw a bunch of wrenches at them, knocking them all out. The other group cheered.

"Thank you!" the second one to speak shouted after Winry, who was now running after Ed.

- - -

**And I think I'll end the chapter there. So what do ya think? Lemme know by reviewing! Stay tuned next time for ****Running From The Cops**** and you maybe...just maybe...will get to see Ed stoned outta his mind. XP **


	2. Stoned Shrimp

**RING RING RING RING RING... BANANA PHONE! Hehe... I'm only slightly sugar high... LOOK I'M GIVING OUT BANANA PHONES! Banana phones for: Katie B 16 and roxie-san! ('Cuz they reviewed!)**

- - - - - - - - - -

Ed was far away, and running out of strength, when he found a skate park.

One of the skaters there turned to his friend, "Hey, I think that dude's runnin' from the cops."

"Let's hide him!" the other replied, and they dragged Ed into a secret tunnel under one of half-pipes.

"What are you doing?" Ed asked.

"Hiding you," skater 1 replied.

"Duh!" said skater 2, smoking weed.

"Don't smoke weed in public!" Ed said. "...Unless you're gonna share!"

"We're not in public, we're in a tunnel," skater 1 pointed out.

"But I'll share if you really want me to," skater 2 handed Ed the joint.

Ed smoked the joint. "I bet Winry would kick my ass if she saw me now... What are your names?"

"Uno," skater 1 replied.

"Deuce," skater 2 said.

That was when Winry burst into the tunnel. "Edward Elric, what the hell are you doing?!"

Ed quickly threw the joint on the ground. "Oh, um... uh.. Nothing! Are the police still out there?"

"No, I told them you went down by the lake."

"Okay, then join us!" (**Ed and the skaters are stoned**)

"Wanna joint?" Deuce asked Winry. Uno hit Deuce on the back of the head.

"You idiot!"

"No I don't want to," Ed said.

Winry narrowed her eyes. "Edward, are you stoned?"

"Nope, not at all, Pink Elephant!"

Winry hit him in the back of the head with her wrench. "Idiot!" She pulled him out of the tunnel.

The preps, who had followed, walked up to Winry. "Hey, he's like, our hunk, not yours, like.. Loser!"

Winry grimaced at their excessive use of the word 'like', and knocked them out again. Roy walked up, and took one look at Ed.

"Fullmetal, are you stoned?"

"Nope, not at all, Pyro Hunk!" Ed smiled.

Winry screamed, sat down on the ground, and cried. Apparently Ed hitting on Roy was a very disturbing thing... Then Riza walked up!

"See!" Roy said to her. "Even _Fullmetal_ thinks I'm sexy!"

"Oh yeah," Ed nodded.

Then Winry had an idea! Yay Winry! "It's okay, he's just stoned!"

"So... He doesn't think I'm sexy?"

"Nope."

"How would you know?!" Ed screamed. "Hey, you're better looking than him!"

'_Oh, but he's stoned..._' Winry thought to herself.

"Um... Shouldn't we arrest him?" Riza asked.

"Nope, this is quite entertaining," Roy replied.

"Ed, will you go out with me?" Roy asked.

"Nope, I'll go out with her though," Ed replied, pointing to Winry.

"Like, oh my gosh, you did NOT just reject me!" Roy said in a high-pitched voice.

Winry stood up, realizing Ed wasn't stoned anymore. "When did you stop being stoned?"

"Um.. Uh.. I am!"

Winry studied Ed for a minute. "No you're not..."

"Yes I am!"

"Why are you lying?"

"I'm not!"

Roy walked up to Ed with his hands on his hips. "Like, you little man whore! How could you, like, reject me?"

"Damn it! This is what happens when he gets rejected!" Riza said, and proceeded to slap Roy across the face.

"Oh no, you did _not_ just bitch slap me! I'm gonna, like, SO kick your ass!"

'_Damn, it didn't work..._' She thought to herself. She then grabbed the front of Roy's uniform, roughly pulled her to him, and crushed her lips into his. After she pulled away, she saw Roy staring wide-eyed at her. She just smiled. "Come on sir, let's go back to HQ..."

Roy nodded, still wide eyed, and the two walked off into the distance. (**XD**) Ed and Winry stared after them. They both felt as if they had witnessed something they shouldn't have.

"So.." Winry said, breaking the awkward silence. "Why did you call Colonel Mustang a 'pyro hunk'?"

"'Cuz I knew he would be like that... Sort of..."

"And you wanted him like that because...?"

"I didn't!"

"Then why...? Never mind."

"So... What now?"

"Did you mean the stuff you said about me?" Winry asked softly.

Ed blushed. "Um... Uh..." his voice dropped to a barely audible whisper. "Mostly."

Winry leaned in to hear him better, causing his blush to deepen. "Mostly?"

"More than mostly."

Winry leaned back again, letting that information sink in. Rather randomly she asked, "Wanna go swimming?"

"Okay."

**- - - - - - - - - **

**Ooh chappa two wash short! So very, very short... -sniffle- Why are you so goddamn short?!!!! **


	3. kissy kissy!

**I'M WATCHIN' ****AMERICAN IDOL****!!! YAAAAY! Yeah... I luv this show... Not as much as FMA, but... You know...**

. 

At the Lake

"There he is!" the police shouted, pointed at Ed. "Get him!"

Ed turned to Winry, angry. "How dare you lead me here!"

Winry sighed. "You're such a child!" She pulled out her Wrenchblade, and knocked out of the police. She grinned over at Ed, twirling the giant wrench. "You really thought I was turning you in, didn't you? What, don't you trust me?"

"Well... you can be a good liar."

"Tch..." She looked at the water in silence for a minute, before grinning again. "So we going swimming or what?"

"Um.. Uh.. Okay, sure."

"Are you going swimming in your clothes?"

"Are you?"

"No," Winry replied, and started taking off her shirt. Ed blushed, and did the same.

Winry smiled over at Ed. "You better not think I'm stripping down all the way, Edward Elric."

"I wouldn't think that! Besides, what if the police wake up?" Ed asked, taking off his pants. Winry shrugged.

"Then I'll just knock them out again." She was in her bra and underwear then, and grinned over at Ed. "Here, test the water."

She pushed him in before jumping in herself. Ed spit and splashed water at Winry, who pushed him under. He dragged her with him. They then resurfaced, laughing. Then Winry noticed Roy and Riza giving the two wet blonds strange looks.

"Um... Well, this is awkward..."

"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE ROY!" Ed shouted angrily. Roy, in a very Hughes like fashion, pulled out a camera and started snapping pictures.

"Blackmail!"

"Roy, you ass hole!" Ed shouted, getting out of the water. Roy threw the camera to Ed, who just barely caught it.

"You have the camera, I'll have something better..." the pervy colonel said, jumping into the lake. Ed followed him into the water, and punched him.

"GET THE HELL OUT!"

"But I don't want to..." Roy pouted, hugging Winry. "She's just so cute!"

Riza sighed. "Sir, you should be arrested."

Winry was silent from shock, but Ed was pissed off. "_**GET OFF OF HER**_!" he shouted in big capital letters, viciously attacking Roy. "**YOU NO GOOD SON OF A BITCH! IF YOU EVER TOUCH HER AGAIN, I'LL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!**"

Winry suddenly came out of shock, and smirked mischievously to herself. "Aw the sexy guy stopped hugging me..."

Riza nudged Roy's bloody body(which had been thrown ashore) the tip of her boot. "Are you dead?"

"Ugh..."

"Okay, you'll be fine," Riza said, walking away.

BACK TO ED AND WINRY!(who were on land)

"WHAT?!!!" Ed was in shock.

"The pyro hunk stopped hugging me..." Winry faked a pout. Ed started beating up Roy even more.

"You ASS!"

"You're gonna get fired. You know that, right?"

"No..." Ed said, confused. "'Cuz I'm off the clock."

"So? He's still your superior officer."

"No! He's just a pervert!"

"So... Why are you so jealous of Pyro Hunk?"

"I'm not!"

"No, you're just jealous that he hugged me..."

The police suddenly woke up. "You're both under arrest!" They took both Ed and Winry down town, and took Ed's arm and Winry's weapons.

"So what should we do with them Roy?" the police asked the bloody pile of flesh.

"Ugh..." replied the bloody pile of flesh.

A moogle suddenly popped out of no where and dumped a phoenix down on Roy's head.

"Send them to my office," the newly revived colonel ordered the police.

"So... can we have our clothes back now?" Ed asked. The moogle threw Ed and Winry's clothes at them, and they got dressed.

"You know Fullmetal..." Roy began, propping his feet up on his desk. "I could get you fired... But I won't, on one condition..."

"And the condition is?" Ed asked. "If it has to do with Winry, hell no! You can't have her!"

Roy put his arm around the blond mechanic. "I don't wanna keep her, I just want a kiss..." He moved in on Winry. Ed punched Roy...hard.. So he was knocked out.

"YA DAMN PERVERT!"

"...Wow..." Winry said, in awe.

"Huh?"

Winry hugged Ed. "You're so cool! ..But you're still going to get fired..."

"Um.. No I'm not!"

Winry slipped a cube of ice down the back of Ed's shirt. "Now you are! ... Cool that is." She winked.

"AAAAHHH! COLD! COLD! GET IT OUT!"

Winry smirked. "Do you _really_ want me to?"

"YES! GET IT OUT! COLD!"

"Okay..." Winry reached up Ed's shirt to pull out the ice.

Ed's eyes went wide. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Winry pulled out the ice and held it in front of Ed's nose. "What? You told me to get it..." she smiled innocently at him.

"Well... yeah, but... Um.. Oh forget it! So how am I gonna explain his bloody body lying on the floor?" (Roy's basically dying at this point)

Winry walked over and opened the window. "We leave before we have to..."

"Okay," Ed said, and they both jumped out the window. "So... How about a trip to Mexico? I mean, they never did arrest me, and now they'll be looking for me."

"But then we'd have to be running for the rest of our lives..."

"Hm... No, we could take down the military."

"Just the two of us? And then who's gonna stop the hummunculi and all the other bad guys?"

"Others will! We don't have to do everything, do we?"

"But..." Winry looked troubled.

"But what?"

"We'd have to take down our friends to. And Granny and Al would be so disappointed in us. And what about your teacher?"

"We could.. Um.. Fine! ...I'll save my time..." Ed said, and then his mind shifted to his teacher. He shivered. '_She would hunt me down, brutally murder me, and say it was a train wreck on top of a car crash!_'

Winry kissed Ed softly on the cheek. "Good boy!" She smiled and patted his head like he was a puppy.

"Grr"

"Calm down, you're such a spaz!"

"I am not!"

"Hold it right there!" the police shouted, and grabbed Ed. Then they took him to jail. Winry followed of course, but she wasn't arrested. She leaned against the bars of Ed's cell.

"How did you manage to get yourself into this mess?"

Ed's jaw dropped to the ground. "WHAT?! YOU WERE THERE! YOU KNOW!"

Winry chuckled. "And you say you're not a spaz..."

"I'm not a spaz!"

Winry rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and you're not hot either..."

Ed looked sad. "So I'm in here for how long?"

"Why are you sad? I was being sarcastic. And I dunno how long.."

Then King Bradley came and opened up Ed's cell. "You're free to go, on one condition."

Then Armstrong walked in. Yaaaay Armstrong! "Well actually, it's his condition."

Armstrong held out his arms(**giggle**). "You have to give me a hug and promise never to do it again!"

'_NOOOO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!_' "Winry, help!"

Winry walked over to Armstrong. "Don't kill him, okay?"

So then Armstrong hugged Ed... hard... As is 'crack snap break' hard.

"AUGH!"

Winry yawned. "I'm tired, can we go home now, Ed?"

"Fine..." Ed replied, holding his poor tortured back like some old man.

At Winry's House!(outside Winry's room)

Winry yawned again. "'Night Ed." She kissed him on the lips, went into her room, and shut the door. Poor little Edo-kun was left speechless... Then a random moogle walked up, and poked Ed in the forehead!

"Are you alright Mr. Tall Person?" the moogle asked.

"Um.. Yes..."

"Okay," the moogle said, and walked away.

Ed walked back to his room in a sort of daze. After he shut the door though, it finally sank in. "YES!"

Winry heard him from her room and giggled.

. 

**ONCE UPON A PURPLE PENGUIN... **

**I dunno... REVIEW! IT'S THE END OF THE STORY! **

**Oh, and also, I'm trying to come up with character/pairing theme songs, just for the hell of it. Just songs that really seem to fit a certain character or pairing. So.. .Let me know if you have any ideas! Oh and BTW, it was my birthday yesterday... I like fanart (smiles)**


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